I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
now i know why i became what i already was.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
