Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize