That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
