Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
