no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize