They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
