508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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