he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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