is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
