I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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