Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would ride that face into the sunset
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
