My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
