I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
