It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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