Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
