my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
