You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
