she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
