God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
