sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
