Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
