Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
