You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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