Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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