I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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