yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
