i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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