When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Are my feet made of real feet?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
