your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
