He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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