my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize