a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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