can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
