as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
