I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
