He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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