Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
