This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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