i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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