I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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