drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
