i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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