You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
