SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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