i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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