You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
