i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
