i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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