Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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