yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
