woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
