so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
