So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
