Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
