He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
