After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
