Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize