I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
