So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
