So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
