well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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