going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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