idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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