yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
